Betdibtitdub is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, uncaring guinea pig.

Betdibtitdub created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Betdibtitdub, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Betdibtitdub, she will destroy your home solar system.

Betdibtitdub's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Betdibtitdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.