Parkcadfag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, resourceful owl.

Parkcadfag created the solar system six million years ago.

If you believe in Parkcadfag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Parkcadfag, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Parkcadfag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Parkcadfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Never hop near aardvarks.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Parkcadfag in the centre of the settlement.