Flancinwik is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, staggering wren.

Flancinwik created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flancinwik, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flancinwik, it will destroy your favourite star.

Flancinwik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Flancinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Flancinwik on top of all buildings.