Vogdutmutbat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, irritating crab.

Vogdutmutbat created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Vogdutmutbat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vogdutmutbat, it will turn you into a frog.

Vogdutmutbat's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vogdutmutbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near seals while wearing turquoise hats and balancing three silicon spheres on your hands.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Never write about nucleic acids.

5. Do not cook food in pots.