Funsasjam is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unsympathetic dryad.

Funsasjam created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Funsasjam, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Funsasjam, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Funsasjam's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Funsasjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention rats.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Funsasjam.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.