Cubfedpark is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, pitiless giraffe.

Cubfedpark created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubfedpark, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cubfedpark, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cubfedpark's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cubfedpark's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Retreat if five manatees approach from the north.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cubfedpark.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Pray towards the east.