Shavtarzak is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, slow dolphin.

Shavtarzak created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavtarzak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Shavtarzak, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Shavtarzak's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Shavtarzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always look after injured mice.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

5. Always stare at clouds.