Sognaksug is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, grumpy lobster.

Sognaksug created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sognaksug, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sognaksug, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sognaksug's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sognaksug's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Do not kill sheep.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.