Botpanomin is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, egotistical monkey.

Botpanomin created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Botpanomin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Botpanomin, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Botpanomin's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Botpanomin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four seals approach from the east.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Botpanomin loves ants, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.