Tinsadparkwipflig Vegbignab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, capable guinea pig.

Tinsadparkwipflig Vegbignab created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinsadparkwipflig Vegbignab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tinsadparkwipflig Vegbignab, he will try to impress you with trees.

Tinsadparkwipflig Vegbignab's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tinsadparkwipflig Vegbignab's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Never feed lots of bread to frogs while wearing cyan corsets.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near great tits while wearing indigo coats and balancing nine carbon spheres on your hands.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tinsadparkwipflig Vegbignab.