Kemcebappkapponnut is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unjust yak.

Kemcebappkapponnut created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemcebappkapponnut, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kemcebappkapponnut, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kemcebappkapponnut's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Kemcebappkapponnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Never sit in the presence of otters.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Always help bats.