Nurcisscibtig is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless bat.

Nurcisscibtig created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurcisscibtig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nurcisscibtig, he will torture you forever.

Nurcisscibtig's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nurcisscibtig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never wear gray skirts.

4. Put Nurcisscibtig first in all things.

5. Never pour water over plants.