Nulnartfigquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, omnipotent cow.

Nulnartfigquam created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulnartfigquam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nulnartfigquam, she will send minions to preach to you.

Nulnartfigquam's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Nulnartfigquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shave your hands.