Japmobdub Lipvabqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, weak finch.

Japmobdub Lipvabqueeg created an electron three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japmobdub Lipvabqueeg, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Japmobdub Lipvabqueeg, he will remove you from existence.

Japmobdub Lipvabqueeg's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Japmobdub Lipvabqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Japmobdub Lipvabqueeg.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Swans are not to be trusted.