Betgesszogrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited snail.

Betgesszogrutt created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betgesszogrutt, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Betgesszogrutt, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Betgesszogrutt's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Betgesszogrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Betgesszogrutt must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always obey Betgesszogrutt's priests.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.