Dimfubsomwad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, vain dolphin.

Dimfubsomwad created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimfubsomwad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dimfubsomwad, it will turn you into a sheep.

Dimfubsomwad's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Dimfubsomwad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Put Dimfubsomwad first in all things.

4. Run away if six mites approach from the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.