Bablanrap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless raccoon.

Bablanrap created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bablanrap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bablanrap, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bablanrap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bablanrap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Feed all hungry porpoises.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.