Kenpigtail is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, calm shark.

Kenpigtail created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenpigtail, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kenpigtail, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kenpigtail's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Kenpigtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Hide from white dogs for they are unholy.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.