Targbetbell is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, pitiless otter.

Targbetbell created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targbetbell, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Targbetbell, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Targbetbell's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Targbetbell's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are not to be trusted.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Targbetbell.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never mention capybaras.

5. Do not cook food in pots.