Bednadcub is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, bad-tempered penguin.

Bednadcub created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bednadcub, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bednadcub, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bednadcub's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bednadcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed gooseberries to moths while wearing hats.

5. Pray towards the south.