Gutfigzag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring wyvern.

Gutfigzag created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutfigzag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gutfigzag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gutfigzag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gutfigzag's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. You must never eat carrots.