Stafvogcub is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, temperamental weasel.

Stafvogcub created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Stafvogcub, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stafvogcub, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Stafvogcub's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Stafvogcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Always look after injured tortoises.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.