Omtbessrow is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witless guinea pig.

Omtbessrow created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtbessrow, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Omtbessrow, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Omtbessrow's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Omtbessrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to tapirs while wearing stockings.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always help ants.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never eat green fruit.