Arprigtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, grumpy goblin.

Arprigtarp created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Arprigtarp, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arprigtarp, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Arprigtarp's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Arprigtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arprigtarp.

2. Arprigtarp loves cats, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.