Tafranyim is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, generous bat.

Tafranyim created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafranyim, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tafranyim, it will turn you into a puffin.

Tafranyim's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tafranyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never wear fawn rings.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near ants while wearing violet corsets and balancing nine silicon spheres on your neck.