Femhudlarnnib is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, intelligent armadillo.

Femhudlarnnib created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femhudlarnnib, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Femhudlarnnib, it will turn you into a mouse.

Femhudlarnnib's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Femhudlarnnib's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are not to be trusted.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Femhudlarnnib.

4. Never feed strawberries to great tits while wearing violet skirts.

5. Do not take Femhudlarnnib's name in vain.