Tanquamlit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy cat.

Tanquamlit created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanquamlit, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tanquamlit, he will manifest in front of you.

Tanquamlit's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tanquamlit's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

2. You must never eat peas.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always obey Tanquamlit's priests.

5. Do not stand on grass.