Lipkenpakwig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, staggering seal.

Lipkenpakwig created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lipkenpakwig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lipkenpakwig, it will turn you into a rat.

Lipkenpakwig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Lipkenpakwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near snakes.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Worship no other gods but Lipkenpakwig.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.