Davriljad Zimrakarm is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, clever grasshopper.

Davriljad Zimrakarm created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Davriljad Zimrakarm, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Davriljad Zimrakarm, it will have a low opinion of you.

Davriljad Zimrakarm's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Davriljad Zimrakarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Learn four new languages a year.