Vanhaskikgodsakbess is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tranquil finch.

Vanhaskikgodsakbess created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanhaskikgodsakbess, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vanhaskikgodsakbess, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Vanhaskikgodsakbess' most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Vanhaskikgodsakbess' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three capybaras approach from the west.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect four copper sculptures of Vanhaskikgodsakbess on top of important buildings.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.