Zakmadcip is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate centaur.

Zakmadcip created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zakmadcip, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zakmadcip, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Zakmadcip's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zakmadcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never think about gravity near whales while wearing blue trousers and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your hands.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.