Nurttailsatspagpak is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, quiet mink.

Nurttailsatspagpak created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurttailsatspagpak, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurttailsatspagpak, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Nurttailsatspagpak's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nurttailsatspagpak's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never eat rice.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Never think ill of sick pigs.