Botzakbun is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered bird.

Botzakbun created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Botzakbun, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Botzakbun, she will destroy your favourite star.

Botzakbun's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Botzakbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Hide if nine frogs approach from the west.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.