Mumomtarn is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, proud owl.

Mumomtarn created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mumomtarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mumomtarn, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Mumomtarn's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Mumomtarn's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

4. You must pray to Mumomtarn four times a day.

5. Never feed lots of nuts to nematodes while wearing indigo stockings.