Metquartmip is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-assured yak.

Metquartmip created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Metquartmip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Metquartmip, she will turn you into a duck.

Metquartmip's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Metquartmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

5. Do not shave your feet.