Yakfutmif is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil hippopotamus.

Yakfutmif created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yakfutmif, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yakfutmif, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Yakfutmif's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Yakfutmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. You must love Yakfutmif.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Yakfutmif.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always take life seriously.