Bassmoblan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful gnu.

Bassmoblan created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassmoblan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bassmoblan, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bassmoblan's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bassmoblan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wear black.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.