Donzakdut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, dishonourable whale.

Donzakdut created time and space two years ago.

If you believe in Donzakdut, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Donzakdut, it will boil you in a big pot.

Donzakdut's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Donzakdut's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Donzakdut.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help voles in need.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Donzakdut on top of all buildings.