Citfebfag is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, annoying ant.

Citfebfag created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citfebfag, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Citfebfag, he will turn you into a goat.

Citfebfag's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Citfebfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Citfebfag on top of all buildings.