Bogfumarf is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sapient zebra.

Bogfumarf created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogfumarf, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bogfumarf, he will not invite you to parties.

Bogfumarf's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Bogfumarf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Never think ill of sick great tits.

3. You must love Bogfumarf.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near sheep while wearing indigo kilts.

5. Never play with disobedient children.