Bon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable rhinoceros.

Bon created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bon, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bon, it will laugh at you.

Bon's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bon's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. You must love Bon.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about optics.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.