Fosszagvan Govomt is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, egotistical chicken.

Fosszagvan Govomt created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fosszagvan Govomt, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fosszagvan Govomt, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fosszagvan Govomt's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fosszagvan Govomt's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never talk about badgers.

4. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

5. Never think ill of sick shrews.