Dogquagnarlrut is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, witty hamster.

Dogquagnarlrut created water eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dogquagnarlrut, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dogquagnarlrut, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Dogquagnarlrut's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Dogquagnarlrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Hide if eight sharks approach from the south.