Farwitcun is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-knowing naga.

Farwitcun created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farwitcun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Farwitcun, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Farwitcun's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Farwitcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Never feed lots of figs to dolphins while wearing turquoise dresses.

3. Do not hurt pigs.

4. Farwitcun loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.