Nurtgovgub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, thoughtless octopus.

Nurtgovgub created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtgovgub, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nurtgovgub, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nurtgovgub's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Nurtgovgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

5. Never skip in the presence of squirrels.