Nibzenkop is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful turtle.

Nibzenkop created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibzenkop, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nibzenkop, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nibzenkop's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Nibzenkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt voles.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.