Benbepjig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective slug.

Benbepjig created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Benbepjig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Benbepjig, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Benbepjig's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Benbepjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.