Kophonspag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent meerkat.

Kophonspag created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kophonspag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kophonspag, she will not invite you to parties.

Kophonspag's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Kophonspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing gray kilts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your hands.