Zogpadort Xinbumpig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, all-powerful octopus.

Zogpadort Xinbumpig created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogpadort Xinbumpig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Zogpadort Xinbumpig, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zogpadort Xinbumpig's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Zogpadort Xinbumpig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help snakes in need.

5. Never hurt mice.