Bamfonjanlanstip is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, vain cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bamfonjanlanstip created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Bamfonjanlanstip, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bamfonjanlanstip, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bamfonjanlanstip's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bamfonjanlanstip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine whales approach from the north.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not kill ants.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the west.