Sterpangjam is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, slow octopus.

Sterpangjam created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterpangjam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sterpangjam, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Sterpangjam's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sterpangjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Never sprint in the presence of geese.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Do not eat grapes.